We often see differneces in people as a hurdle to overcome or not necessarily a positive. Through out my readings and lessons of the Love Dare - a year of devotions for couples- I have gained new perspective on our differences and how they are meant to compliment and complete the other.
From the Love Dare - read with an open mind and appreciation for your spouse, quierks and all.
God intentionally created needs in both of you that the other would be exclusively designed to help meet. The Enemy desires to use your distinctiveness to drive you apart - to operate independently - as though what your spouse brings to you is unnecessary. But marriage has made you "one flesh" Now neither of you should live without the other. Though distinct in personality and ability, you have been designed to 'experience oneness in your diverstiy.' You are no longer just you. You are so intimately combined with your mate that together you are to live as one complete person.
This is an Ah Ha moment for me because in nearly all of my relationships with people I used to think "ok, how can I overcome how we are different" as opposed to now I say to myself "how can we value each others differnces and become stronger and closer because of them." This lesson is true not only in the relationship with your spouse, but also in life. I used to fear my differences from Adam, like it would drive me apart and I needed to change who I was to be more like Adam so he would "love me more." These feelings were never brought on or caused by anything Adam said or did, this was purely my insecurities speaking for me. I also felt this way because I was not confident in my relationship with God and therefore able to Love my spouse in the way God loves us and I love God. With God's love I am able to experience freedom in thought and embrace our differences rather than wish mine away. Our differences are what make us unique individuals. We are like puzzle pieces, and Adam is my perfect fit.
"Heavenly Father, bond our hearts together in marriage. Teach us what it means to live as one, Amen."
"We love because he first loved us" John 4:19
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